I’m 3 days into being a stay at home mom again and it still feels weird. I still feel like I’m just taking a few personal days or that I’m on spring break or something, so I have been really trying to ponder the meaning of this mommy-hood ahead of me.
While most new moms are looking for jobs or returning to jobs after having a baby I got the unique opportunity to come home which feels like such an honor. With both my daughters I was a stay at home mom and I look back at the past me and see how much I took for granted. I remember getting so upset about waking up in the middle of the night or how hurried I had felt when trying to get feedings in so often. Going back to work 6 short weeks after having my son made me realize how much I loved the quite times in the middle of the night (which I still love every night) and how precious it is when he stops eating to just sit and watch me. I love when he only falls asleep when I’m holding him and how he grabs my hair every time he gets close enough to my face to grab it.
I missed it so much while I was at work, I longed for the second I got off work and could rush home to feed him. I hoped and prayed that he would wait to make a milestone until I got home. I felt the guilt of missing that nap time, or pumping at work when I should have been feeding him at that time. And, while I know a lot of moms have to go back to work.. to keep their careers going, to pay bills, to get the next position up, which I have so much respect for.. I know that what I needed and wanted in my life at this moment was to be a mommy.
God created my little beings as gifts put in my womb for me to be utterly blessed with, so my desire is to cherish those gifts, to play with them, teach them, snuggle them and take care of them.
so here’s to being Mommy again.
To spit up and poopy diapers.
To bath times and checkups.
To snuggly mornings and bedtime stories.