Sick for LYFE

… as cool as the 90’s were they had nothing on this week. With in only 7 days we had 1 ear infection, 2 pink eyes (2 different kids that is), 3 people with lice and 2 headcolds… this was one only a weeks span. 

I have been pretty angry this week. I know that I am doing God’s will. Our lives have been changing immencly. Hubs has joined a mens group that goes DEEP and i have been doing a small group that goes DEEP. In the midst of that i started a new job at my church, aaron started doing sound, we have been getting our finances in order so we can be better prepared for our future and i think because of that someone is not happy about it. 

My pastor’s wife gave the staff a verse to dwell on this week because illness and financial burdens have been ‘plauging’ all of the staff these past few weeks:

“James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:1-6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

While my anger has come and gone this week, i keep coming back to this verse. Joy. I find joy in that this is a season. I find joy that my kids and my husband and I are ok. I find joy in the fact and we are on the correct path, the tough, sicko, financially draining, but so worth it path. 
I hope that if any of you are struggling this week with anger, hopelessness and/or depression that you find this passage encouraging. 


The Humble Brag

1 Peter 5:6

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.

being humble is pretty hard.. with instagram, facebook and so many other social media outlets we can constantly show everyone how great you are.

BUT then I think of the mighty power of God. that power that created the earth, that formed a human being inside me, that made the perfect clouds and the scent of roses.

I live in a place where poor means you have a cell phone, internet, a roof over your head and food to eat, but you dont have the newest vehicle and you cant get the best smart tv.  I have nothing to worry about, my children are taken care of, my husband and I have good jobs, and while it feels tight in our finances at times, we can afford to live in our rich culture.  I am humbled by that. I am humbled by the fact that Jesus chose me to live in 2017 in america. I am humbled that i’m not pulling salt out of the bottom of a lake for $10 a day, or that i dont have think about what my children and I are going to eat or where we will sleep at night. I’m humbled that I grew up in a christian family where they taught me how to love people.  I’m humbled that I am loved, that I am given what I dont deserve, that I live a life that some dream of having.


I have been complaining a lot… about my finances, about my husband working too much and me being too busy, that my kids have been too stir crazy in the cold, that im not losing weight and i’m so tired all the time.  Jesus remind me of your MIGHTY POWER. remind me that in my weakness you are strong.  That you provide for my family, keep us healthy and so many other amazing things. I’m sorry for forgetting your goodness. You are amazing.


and now a challenge. someone told me they try to walk into a place and see something new every day. walk into a room and see something something new. a new face, a new decoration something new.  And pray for someone.

pray for anyone. just pray for someone other than yourself.




“Submit to God, and you will have peace;  then things will go well for you.”

Job 22:21


It’s funny that this verse is used at all as an example of submission. Eliphaz was talking to Job and accusing him of all of these sinful things he MUST have done to deserve all the hardship that Job encountered when the opposite was true. Job was a righteous man. God says he was. Job didn’t deserve what happened to him, but it still happened.  While submitting to God will bring us peace and things might go well for us it will not always be true. Submitting to God does not automatically mean we will have all of these wonderful things happen to us it just means we are being obedient without the expectation of reward.

it’s a lot like a mom. I don’t do the dishes, laundry and multitude of chores that pile up every day for a reward… i do them because they need to be done. i do them out of obedience to my household. God loves me when i’m lazy and I don’t do house work and he loves me when i’m motivated and do do housework. Good things happen in my house when it’s clean, but bad things happen in my house when it’s clean too…

It never quiet explained the ‘moral to the story’ in Job but so many lessons about doubt, honor, obedience, strength, submission and lesson upon lesson can be learned in Job.


I hope you all have a great week.


My word of the year


2016 was crazy. We did a lot. not only did we do a lot but it was a year with more changes.. there are always changes!! I guess by now I would be used to them, but i’m not and it throws me off and I feel like 2016 turned into the year of no time for God.

no time for God.

that breaks my heart. My heart is for Jesus, He is my number one, my life, my strength.. but something happened this year and it’s like I just had no motivation any more.

I want motivation back. I want conviction, yearning, hunger.. i want those back.

I realized I can’t make those come back. I can’t force motivation, hunger, conviction.. those are all natural tendencies and if those are going to come back I have to submit.

I have to submit to God, to a relationship with Him, submit to what He is telling me, to where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do.


I don’t know how to do this. I’m the most controlling person I know. I continually fail at submitting to my husband, myself, my kids.. I am a mess at submitting, but thats what makes it beautiful I guess… to not know… because that’s what submitting is.. letting go.

Googled “Definition of Submit”:

  1. accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
     – give in/way, yield, back down, cave in, capitulate;  surrender, knuckle under

                         “she submitted under duress”
     – be governed by, abide by, be regulated by, comply with, accept, adhere to, be subject to, agree to, consent to, conform to
                         “he refused to submit to their authority”

so i’m starting with bible studying.. here I go.

Psalms 2:9-11:

You will break them with an iron rod
and smash them like clay pots.’”
Now then, you kings, act wisely!
Be warned, you rulers of the earth!
Serve the Lord with reverent fear,
and rejoice with trembling.

some translations say  in verse 9 “dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.” usually when the potter is referenced in the bible it’s talking about ‘the maker’ or God.  I see this particular verse and while it looks like God is just going to destroy all the nations I just looks to me like he’s going to break them, as in break their hearts, and put them together in His image.

Verse 10 & 11 are a little more straight forward, God wants the kings/rulers/leaders of the nations to turn to Him, respect Him, fear Him.. I mean could you imagine the world submitting to God. what a beautiful world.

I thought this was a pretty fitting passage for the new year (which was randomly just at the top of 56 verses about submitting).  One, it teaches me that one way to submit is to respect God and know that He is in charge of this world no matter what leaders are. Two, because of our new president. Our country is so divided.. understandably. there are 2 much different views in this country right now. But I have hope and I pray desperately that our new ruler of our country reads this verse and serves the Lord with reverent fear and rejoices with trembling. in the mean time I’m going to try to do that too.

excuse my misspellings and horrible horrible grammar, but it’s my thing and my blog.

love tlainey

Long time, no write

I do this. I write and write and then it gets old and I let it go.

God has a funny way of working. Life can feel so free one day and the next feel just a restricting. There are weeks where I feel so together, keeping up with chores and work and all that goes along and enough money is coming in and no new bills come up and it just feels awesome! You start thinking about house improvements and future fun events to take the family then it comes crashing the next day. multi thousand dollar bills that were completely unexpected (thanks a lot health insurance) the house is trashed and I can’t keep up, it’s hot one day and cold the next so you never know what you are able to do with the kids, opportunities end, dreams change… you start panicking and thinking about all the money cuts you need to start taking and house improvements you have to push off to another year and on and on and on.

Why does this happen?  How can you feel so secure one day and insecure the next? Well, I guess one reason is you just can’t predict the future. Aaron got a tumor under is ear (seriously.. they have to call it a tumor! I hate it!) and it’s non-life threatening, but he still has to have surgery and ct scans and a specialist bla bla bla and our insurance of course doesn’t cover anything until we have paid out of pocket $5,000 (I mean seriously?! what middle class income can afford 5,000 in medical bills a year?aldkjfa;efwo). I knew the bills would be coming, but as a financial prude it still made me cry and scream and yell when I got the first bill.

the other reason I feel this way? I forget to trust God. Have we ever went without? starved or without a house or naked? no. As a matter of fact we just went on the most amazing vacation with my husband’s family. we visited states we have never been to before and had experiences we have never got to experience before.. It was beautiful and fun and I’m so thankful. Not only that  but we were given a money gift when we got home.. FREE MONEY. no joke!

We are taken care of, we are loved, provided for, thought of, and so much more, yet I still have my moment of panic. yes, those medical bills will get higher, but will God take care of us? yes. Will it feel like I want to throw up every time I see a bill? yes.


BUT, does God take care of us?

yes. always and forever.


(got the feels out)



Matthew 6:26 -34

“26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

There are a few lessons to be learned in this passage.  ONE. He will always provide.  He gives the birds food, He turns caterpillars in the butterflies, I mean the birds fly from the North to the South for the winter! They don’t have to be in the AP classes to do all of those things.. they just DO them, because God commanded them to.  NOW, even though we should always be striving for the best, it doesn’t mean God loves us less because we are not the top dog.  I just think He is trying to say that He will meet all of your needs, no matter what. So when things are not going your way, or the best is just out of reach, talk to Him, He will provide what He knows you need in His timing.

TWO. DONT WORRY.  Knowing He will provide for us means we can’t worry about what is to come because we can’t predict or manipulate the future to do what we want it to do, which means we have to trust that God knows what He is doing (which he does, btw).  

THREE.  Don’t dwell on what you look like on the outside. This is so hard. We want to look pretty/handsome.  We dont want to be embarrassed, made fun of or feel like we are not part of the crowd.  The bigger picture is though, when you are a christian, you are already not part of the crowd. God wants us to be working on what we look like on the inside, and when we do that it radiates on the outside.

How does God provide for you?

What are ways God has taken control of your life when you were worried He might not?

What’s one way you can work on your inside and a way you can let go of working on your outside?

Find Faith in the Battle

my favorite song right now?  Fix My Eyes | For King & Country

the chorus is beautiful.

Love like I’m not scared

Give when it’s not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on You

On You

beautiful right!?

a couple verses this week:

We live in our bubble and it is very hard to see people through anyone else’s eyes other than our own. God wants us to love people which means we have to have a different point of view of people. He wants us to see people as He sees them. It will change the way you have relationships and so much more.

Paul had just been through an extremely hard time in his life and still came out of it undefeated. He’s telling the church here that it doesn’t matter what the outside world does to us, Jesus will ALWAYS take care of us. We can go through heart ache, be poor, beaten, rejected and so much more and STILL get through it with God.

We confuse conviction and condemnation quite a bit in the christian culture and I think Paul wrote this perfectly. When you are convicted you feel led to do the right thing, to forgiveness. When you are condemned you want to turn away and it doesnt lead you to God. Can you get mad when convicted? Yes. But conviction will still lead you to Jesus unless you choose to turn away from Him.

This wasn’t about money. We wasn’t going to give every christian a ton of money. He sacrificed so much for us. He became human and died on the cross so we could be rich in life, become saved, and be in heaven with Him.

God always provides. He wants us to pour out to others not ONLY to help them, but so He can pour into us again and again.

Love you!


our first

8 years ago I lost a little girl. We named her Kenzie Lybertie and I carried her for 4 months before I lost her. It was the hardest thing I had ever went through in my life. At that point I felt like such a failure as a woman, devastated that I couldn’t fix what was ‘wrong’ with me. I thankfully had people in my life praying, supporting and there for me or I think my life would be different today.

I can look back now on that day with sweetness, knowing my daughter is in heaven, knowing that NOTHING was wrong with me and Jesus had me that whole time. I have 3 of the most amazing kids on planet earth and 2 little ones in heaven and I count myself a very blessed mom for that. I never want to live through that pain EVER again, but im so thankful for the road I have traveled.

To all moms out there that have lost a little one: you are not alone, you are loved, there is nothing wrong with you, and your baby is with Jesus.

From my husband:
Don’t forget the Dads too. It was just as hard for me during that time that I couldn’t even talk about it for over a year with out tearing up while I talked about it. Loosing a little one is rough on both parents. I am so blessed to have the amazing wife that I have in Tavi Laine White and so blessed with the three beautiful kids that we have now and knowing that there are two waiting in heaven for the rest of the family. To all the fathers who have lost any kids your not alone either and God has you in his hands and will be there always to help you through the tough times no matter how hard it may get.


i talk a lot about all this food I cook, but I dont post my own pictures! Here are some from this week:

My shrimp fried rice… minus the soy sauce because I got to the last step and realized we didn’t have any!! thankfully I have an awesome husband who seriously ran to the store and grabbed some for us so dinner was saved!  I got the recipe from here: 

these are HEAVEN!! Link here: is just one of my breakfasts, fried eggs, hollandaise, avocado, cheese and english muffins!

another.. I like eggs. lol  and last, but the best breakfast: eggs Benedict.. my first time making it, poached eggs and all.  They came out great! I learned to do this here: